Tinker, Tailour, Soldier, Spy
by Honey Fujioka
Summary: Country spies except they aren't countries . Suck at summaries. Just read it!
1. Correspondant

_A/N: Hey, all! So, I wanted to write a spy Hetalia story, or something. I don't know; I just went with it. I have no idea when I started it, but it's about 3 AM, the last day of Juni, now, so... Anyways, I thought, "What if the countries were kind of like spies, or whatever, or like hit men! You know, contacting each other to see their new targets or to get new items or whatever!" And then I thought that that would be a great start for a yaoi story! That's all I'm into writing, now, so...Eh. I need to start writing stuff and actually FINISH it, instead of my usual "Oh! Good idea! TYPETYPETYPETYPETYPE-hey, I have a good idea for a future part of this story! TYPETYPETYPETYPE-hey, another later idea! TYPETYPETYPETYPE!" And I'd never finish the story. It really sucks. Whatever. Well, here's the normal crap I've got to do._

_CONTAINS: Yaoi (boyxboy), Spies, AWESOMENESS, blood & gore, &c. &c._

_COPYRIGHT: Hetalia: Axis Powers does not belong to me. If only I did...But I mean seriously, if I __did__ own it, why the hell would I be writing fanfiction instead of just putting it in the damn manga? Think, people!_

_Gaud__ê__re!_

CHAPITRE I: Correspondent

Ludwig sat at the small table in the corner of the bar, hidden in the shadow of the terrible lighting. He was surprised Roderich had chosen this place, but if you wanted a job like this done, he supposed this was the type of place to do it. The German rubbed the back of his neck; his suitcase beside him on the seat jostled from the movement. It was getting late, his watch showed, and the Austrian still had yet to show up. Just as he was about to call him, Roderich walked through the high makeshift door, lifting it with an almost irritating noble air. Seeking out his contact, and finding him, he sauntered, in Ludwig's mind, towards the table, wincing as he sat on the hard, dark chair across from him.

"It's not _mein_ fault you chose dis place," Ludwig said, amused by the look of disgust that passed the Austrian's face.

"Yes, well, I couldn't have anyone, least of all _him_, finding this place," Roderich frowned, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the table as clean as he could before warily resting his gloved hands upon it.

"You know _Br__ü__der_ vould know aboud dis place."

"Maybe so, but I doubt he'd think I would actually come here. I'm thinking the same thing, now."

"Let's just ged down to business, _ja_? My client is getting a bit impatient, and even dough I don't care, it's de _dought_ of de ding," Ludwig said, pulling out a cigarette, causing Roderich to frown.

"You should really give that up. It's bad for you, _and_ they're not cheap to keep using, especially with the economy like it is." Ludwig shrugged and lit the end, watching as it flared, and happily sighed as he inhaled the first smoke. "Anyways, I've got it, but it's going to cost a little extra; it was harder to find than I expected," he said, frowning even further. It seemed that was this favourite expression as of late, Ludwig thought.

"I see. Vell, I brought extra just in case, soh here's de payment. Oh, _und Br__ü__der_ left a message for you. He says, 'Hurry up vit de damn package, because I don't know how long _mein_ awesome self vill vait.' He also said for me to give you dis," the German said, opening his briefcase to hand over the cash, Roderich giving him his item, and reached into his breast pocket for a crumpled piece of paper that the Austrian quickly scanned and sighed.

"Gilbert just wants to be a prick," the man grumbled, causing Ludwig to jolt in surprise. Roderich _never_ used language. _Ever._ As if sensing his thoughts, Roderich looked up.

"You can blame Elizabeta. She's speaking as such lately, and it has rubbed off some," he replied to the curious stare, pocketing the money and pushing his slipping glasses further up his nose.

"I hear she's gone into de military business again," Ludwig said off-handedly, causing Roderich to groan.

"Yes, it appears so. Although she's a good contact to have there, it's a bit dangerous, so I'm a bit worried. She's already a Colonel now," Roderich supplied, the German surprised by the quick promotions.

Elizabeta had been in the Hungarian army before, but she had left for personal reasons. Ludwig had heard that she had gone in again, and even though she used a different name, it appeared as if her skills were so legendary that it transcended name.

"So, how about we get this underway, then?" Roderich asked, lifting a box onto the table gently.

"Alrighd, bud I hope you know dat you aren't goink to vin," Ludwig smirked, relaxing as they went into their game mode. Every time they met, after their initial transaction, they'd play a game of chess.

"White again?"

"_Ja_. I'm alvays lucky vit vhite." Roderich chuckled in disagreement.

"Alright, then. How about a month and a half this time?"

"Fine. It vill giff me a _gut_ break from dese last dree veeks."

"I _cringe_ from the last time I came over. How bad was it this time?" Roderich asked, laying out his black pawns first.

"About $500."

"What? That's quite a bit! I'll have to reprimand him next time I see him."

Ludwig chuckled. "_Ja_, vell, vhat do you expect? He geds in drouble everyvhere he goes, especially vit Francis _und_ Antonio vit him." They had already progressed a few moves, and Ludwig took one of Roderich's knights, much to the Austrian's dissatisfaction.

"They're still hanging out together?" The bishop was moved.

"_Ja_. Antonio found a guy." A pawn was discarded.

"Really? Was it the Italian?" Roderich took the white rook in retaliation, laughing as Ludwig cursed.

"_Ja_. How did you know?" Ludwig placed his queen in front of the knight's path.

"Elizabeta set them up. Always wanting to play the matchmaker. Check."

"Oh. By de vay, heff you seen Alfred?" He took the knight with an unseen pawn.

"Damn. No, why? Check again."

"_Fick_! Huh, I heard by dat British guy..."

"Arthur?"

"_Ja_, dat's him. Anyvays," Ludwig started, placing the black queen in the discarded pile, "Alfred's group is getting stronger, to match Ivan's. Tension's preddy high, now."

"I see. I heard that they had a spat over some bombs or something like that. I hadn't realized it had escalated so far. Check."

Ludwig frowned, then slowly smirked. He moved his knight over. "Checkmate."

Roderich blinked in surprise. "What? No!"

"Now you heff Gilbert for de next month _und_ a heff." Ludwig smiled, arms crossed in triumph.

"Well damn. I just finished repairing the couch he ruined from last time," Roderich sighed, brushing a piece of auburn hair from his face.

"Soh, I guess dat's it," Ludwig said sadly. It wouldn't be another month or so before they met, and he always got reliable information from the Austrian.

_Oh vell. It can't be helped._

"I'll take de board dis time, just in case Gilbert tries to look vor it again. I'll take him ofer to your place vhen he comes home. Knowing him, he'll be drunk, so it shouldn't be too hard," the German said, placing the pieces inside the board and packing it in his briefcase. The two stood and walked out, shaking hands at the door.

"I'll see you when you bring him over. Elizabeta brought some beer from your hometown when she was there. She should actually be arriving soon before you come. I received a letter just yester-day," Roderich said, and with that, left.

"_Auf Weidersehen_, Roderich," he said with a wave, and left to his own home, hoping Gilbert hadn't already gotten there to ruin the place. Honestly, his brother could be such a disaster sometimes.


	2. When In Rome

CHAPITRE II: When in Rome...

When Ludwig got home, he groaned. Gilbert had gotten there before him, as the room was a complete disaster. It was a wonder that the building wasn't in flames or people sleeping on his floors, which could've also been littered with beer cans and food wrappers.

He closed the door behind him, putting out the butt of his cigarette in an ashtray on the hallway table as he walked by, immediately going straight to his brother's room. The German opened the door with an angry slam and saw his brother half-lying on his bed, his arms and head on the floor.

Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, he crossed the room, kicking the beer cans out of his path, and lifted Gilbert over his shoulder, bringing him downstairs and into his car.

"Hey, it's me. Gilbert god home before me, soh is id alrighd if I come ofer now?" he asked, picking up the phone and calling Austria as soon as he closed the door behind his brother.

"_Sure, go ahead. I've already set up his bed, so you can bring him straight there."_

"_Danke_ _schön_. Alrighd, see you soon. _Auf Weiderhoren,_" and with that, he hung up.

The drive there was fairly quick, and he arrived at the Austrian's house no sooner than 20 minutes. Ludwig hauled his Prussian brother over his shoulder and made his way to the front door where Roderich was already waiting with a frown.

"He's drunk?"

"Vas. I doubt he'll vake up anytime soon, so you shouldn't heff any trouble," the German said over his shoulder as he hefted Gilbert into the house, dumping him unceremoniously onto the couch.

"Ludwig?" a female voice called from the kitchen.

"Elizaveta?"

A woman emerged and stood in the doorway, her long, wavy, brown hair held beneath a white napkin, her apron and green dress dusty with flour.

"Oh, Ludwig!" the woman cried, rushing into his arms to embrace him. "Oh, how wonderful! I was hoping to see you soon, but this soon? You have so much to tell me! Oh, I have a lot to tell you, too!"

"_Ja, ja_, Elizaveta," Ludwig chuckled at the Hungarian's enthusiasm. The last time they'd seen one another were better times, for sure.

"Elizabeta, would you bring the beer that you brought for him? I already told him about it," Roderich said, crossing the room to his desk to pull out papers. "Ludwig, here are some of those documents I promised you last time. I was unsure if you were going to win, so I left them here for safe keeping just in case."

The blonde took the papers, hardly casting a glance at the scrawled letters, and stuffed them in the inside of his jacket. "_Danke_."

"Here you are, Ludwig!" Elizabeta said, carting the crate of German beer into Ludwig's arms.

"Ah, I can already smell dem. _Danke_, Elizaveta."

"So how long can you stay this time?"

"Noht long, I'm afraid," Ludwig said, shifting the crate to one arm. "I heff some business to take care ohf."

Roderich considered him a moment before nodding. "I see."

"That's too bad," Elizabeta said, disheartened. She noticed the exchange between the two and said nothing.

A snort came from the couch. Elizabeta groaned.

"Please don't tell me that's who I think it is."

Ludwig smiled knowingly. "I'm afraid id is."

"Well, damn. I thought it would've been longer. Roddy, how could you have lost?"

"Well, it wasn't easy, Elizabeta."

"Oh, don't you _'it wasn't easy, Elizabeta'_ me! You said that the last time I was here, and you lost then, too! Oh, what a terrible time to get time off! Damn, I'm going to hide. _You _are going to deal with _that_!"

"You are _not_ going to leave! I refuse to be stuck alone with him again! _You_ also did this the last time you were here! It wouldn't be so terrible to have help around here!"

Ludwig chuckled as he exited the house, their voices drifting into nothing. He put the beer in the backseat gently, already smiling at the thoughtfulness of the Hungarian. He moved to the driver's seat, shutting the door. Ludwig started the car and headed home.

Arriving in only ten minutes more than his previous trip, he parked in the driveway. Ludwig sat a moment, taking a breath, then reached for the note Roderich had given him.

Scanning it, he crumpled the paper in a clenched fist. Why hadn't Roderich told him this at the house?

He ran inside.

_A/N: I'm actually submitting all three chapters I have so far in class now, so…Disregard the last authour's note, because I had started this in June. ACK._


	3. Meeting My Enemy

CHAPITRE III: Meeting My Enemy

"Aw, _fratello_, can't we get this one?" the younger Italian brother whined, cooing at the young bouncing atrocities.

"No, Feli! We can't care for them when we're away half the time!" the older twin shouted angrily, passerby walking around the bickering two warily.

"But _fratello_—!"

"NO. Now let's go; we're late for our job."

His brother walked away, leaving poor little Feliciano Vargas to stare sadly at the cute bouncing puppies before trailing after.

"Where's the job _this_ time, Romano?"

"All Antonio told me was that we had to see some German _bastardo_ to get the information. I don't see why we need such a fucking giant network of spies. It leaves too many fucking holes," Romano grumbled, his stupid Italian brother alternatively clutching onto his arm and giggling as they passed beautiful women. Romano snorted. These women weren't beautiful. The women in _Italy_ were beautiful. These were just pale comparisons.

"But Romano, it's such great fun with so many people! I can't wait to meet this German guy! What did you say his name was? Oh, it's going to be so fun! I wonder if he likes pasta. What if he doesn't? What would—"

"Feli, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to fucking strangle—"

"_Fratello_, can't you stop saying that word in _every sentence_—"

"I'm going to fucking say 'fuck' whenever I damn well please! That's so fucking like you, to—"

"_Fratello_, people are _staring_—"

"LET THEM FUCKING STARE!"

Feliciano sighed, dragging his brother away from a pedestrian who had stopped to stare at the two bickering.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU—WHO DOES THAT, STARES AT PEOPLE WHEN THEY'RE HAVING A FUCKING PRIVATE CONVERSATION? I'M GOING TO _UCCIDERE IL TUO VISO! STAI PER ESSERE FOTTUTAMENTE MORTO PER IL MOMENTO HO FINITO CON TE!"_ ¹

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Roderich! Vhy didn't you tell me I hed to meet de _Italiens_?" Ludwig shouted into the phone, the Austrian on the other side flinching away from the device.

"_You didn't ask_," Roderich replied coolly.

"_DAT IS CRAP, _UND_ YOU KNOW ID!" _Ludwig yelled, seconds away from getting an aneurysm.

"_Look, you know now. I couldn't give you the papers before because of Gilbert, and_—"

"_Hey, ahre you talking do Westen? Oi! Westen! Vhere ahre you?"_

"_Gilbert, get away from me_—"

"_Vhy can't I dalk to Westen? Ooh, Westen, did you do someding bat? Kesese!"_

"_Gilbert, get away from the phone_—!"

"_Westen, vhy'd you leafe me vid dis guy? He's—_"

"_BRÜDER, _GET AVAY FROM DE PHONE!" Ludwig shouted, shocking both on the other line.

"_Geez, Westen, it's as if_—"

"LEAFE!"

"_Gott, fine!" _There was a grumbling sound before silence.

Roderich sighed. "_I'm sorry, Ludwig. I didn't even see him coming."_

"_Ja_, dat heppens. Soh, you vere saying?"

"…_Right. I couldn't give it to you obviously because of Gilbert and because the job is very important."_

"Vhat is it…?" Ludwig asked, wary. The last time the Austrian sent him on an 'important/dangerous' job, he'd almost lost his hands. Both of them.

"_You have to meet (Grandpa Rome's) grandkids_."

"…_You hed bedder be joking_," Ludwig growled lowly, clenching the phone in a bone-crushing grip.

"_I'm_ _not_."

"I _vill not_ meet dem. You know vhat…_dat man_ did do _Brüder_!" Ludwig shook with the force of his anger. _That man_ was gone because of his brother, thank _gott_. He had once looked up to the Roman, once thought him _great_ and just _awesome_ (not like his brother's 'awesome', but more of an awe-inspiring kind of man). He was so _strong_ and _kind_, but then he did _that_. And now he was gone.

"_They aren't him, Ludwig. I have worked with both of them, and trust me, they are completely unlike _him_. They're twins. The younger one is a bit ditsy and weak, but he's pretty sharp when it comes to the job. The older, well, he's got a bit of a temper, but he's quick as a whip. Both work well together, and they work well with others as well. Plus, he's the one who's with Antonio."_

"_Him_?"

"_Yes_?"

Ludwig dropped the phone, breath quickening in his chest. It was just so difficult to breathe. His legs fell with the weight of his lungs, his head hitting the floor with a sickening thud.

"_Ludwig, are you alright? Ludwig? Ludwig!"_

-o-o-o-o-o-

"—_just a small wound—"_

"—_be better? I don't—"_

"—_weak for a while, but he'll get better—"_

"…R'dr'k?" Ludwig slurred, his mind hazy, his mouth thick.

"Ludwig? Oh, thank god you're alright."

A warm weight pressed down his chest.

"Oh, Ludwig! I was so worried!" a female voice cried, water spreading through his bandages.

Ludwig smiled and winced as it stung his face. "El'z'veta."

"_Kesese_, you sound like Sveden," a gravelly voice crowed from his left, his gaze turning to see his brother.

" 'ey, _Osten," _Ludwig's voice cracked.

The Prussian laughed his strange laugh as the last note rang through the room.

"Gilbert, shut up!" Elizabeta shouted, pulling the frying pan forever tied to her apron out and pointing it threateningly towards the albino. The man's laugh died a little.

"Mr. Roderich, is he alright?" an Italian-tinged voice whispered from the door. Ludwig turned to the source, his eyes widening. The boy who stood there was meek-looking with medium red-brown hair, a strange curl coming from the right side of his head. He was tanned, probably from the Mediterranean or somewhere. He just looked so…_weak_ looking, as if a light wind would blow him away.

"Yes, he's fine. And there is no need to whisper," Roderich answered with a straight face, but to those who knew him, they could sense the light smile.

"Oh, that's good! I'm glad you're alright, Mr. Ludwig—"

"It's _Ludwig_—"

"—I even brought pasta for you! _Fratello_ didn't want me to, but I did anyways because I knew it'd make you feel better. It makes _me_ feel better whenever I'm sick! I—"

"Feliciano. Feliciano! Calm down!" Elizabeta giggled, bringing the young Italian into the room, his twin dragged by his brother's hand.

"I don't _want _to come into this room with those _bastardi_ here! Dammit, Feliciano, let go of my fucking hand!"

"Romano! Stop using language, especially in front of a guest!"

"A guest? In a fucking hospital?"

"ROMANO!"

"Okay! Mio dio!" the older Italian twin skulked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall, attempting to get away from the '_bastardi'_ in the room.

"Ludwig," Roderich said, gaining the German's attention. It was difficult for the man to stop staring at the…spectacle the two brothers were. "Let me formally introduce you to…the Vargas twins, (Grandpa Rome's) grandkids."

Ludwig immediately glared at the two, his brother casually gazing at the two with a stoic mask.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Ludwig! I've heard bunches about you from Mr. Roderich! He said you're strong, and big, and tall! And you are! Well, not strong now, but you'll get better soon!" 'Feliciano' happily chirped, almost bouncing in place.

"Feliciano, settle the fu—he—JUST SETTLE DOWN!" his older brother growled, angrily glaring at the two German brothers. He turned back to Roderich. "I don't see why we have to work with them. They don't look like…Others."

"They aren't Others; they're like us," Roderich explained coolly, hands clasping behind his back.

"Oh, I knew that!" Feliciano cried, clasping his hands together. "Oh…but what are we going to do about the job? Mr. Ludwig, are you too badly hurt to work—?"

"_Nein_," the German barked, pulling the blanket from his person, startling the occupants of the room.

"Ludwig!" Elizabeta gasped. "You're hurt—"

"I ahm nod hurd, gottdammit! I juhst hed an addack," Ludwig growled, thanking a higher power that they hadn't put him in that god-awful hospital nightshirt and had instead left him in his old military uniform. When meeting with connections, they wore their uniforms so outsiders would let them be.

"Lu—"

"_Dat's ahll_."

Feliciano watched worriedly as the German man left the room, Mr. Roderich, the albino, and Ms. 'Liza following behind. Beside him, Romano snorted.

"What a _macho bastardo_."

"_Fratello_," he sighed, pouting as his brother also left. Feliciano looked back at the messy sheets on the bed with a forlorn look. This meeting was not going as planned. He walked out, closing the door softly behind him.

_A/N: THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A BITCH TO LOAD! (furious face) Okay, now that this is finally done, I'm going to help my group mates (not) do work, so yeah. Have fun. Review._

Translation time!

¹ I'M GOING TO _UCCIDERE IL TUO VISO! STAI PER ESSERE FOTTUTAMENTE MORTO PER IL MOMENTO HO FINITO CON TE! _–I'm going to kill your face! You are going to be fucking dead by the time I'm through with you!


End file.
